Deep Thinking and Almost Decisions
by SPT
Summary: For any other agent it would be the opportunity of a life time, for Tony it brings nothing but conflicting emotions. Throw in a murder, several hundred pounds of heroin, and you have absolutely no time for deep thinking and almost decisions.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Deep Thinking and Almost Decisions **(I'm very open to suggestions for a better one.)

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own them, not making any money, etc.**

**Rating: T for language and violence**

**Summary: For any other agent it would be the opportunity of a life time, for Tony it brings nothing but conflicting emotions. Throw in a murder, several hundred pounds of heroin, and a handful of bad guys which leaves absolutely no time for deep thinking and almost decisions. This kind of takes off from the end of Singled Out, but before Tony makes his decision. **

Tony resisted the urge to shove his hands in his pockets and meandered over to the Director's desk instead. He hated being in here alone- reminded him of all those times he'd been sent to the Principal's office in elementary school, or more recently- Gibb's interrogation technique. Idly, he fingered the card set into the beautiful- and obviously very expensive- bouquet of flowers on Jenny's desk as he let his mind mull over the team's recent behavior.

"Is there a reason you're touching my flowers, Tony?"

DiNozzo forced himself not to flinch at her sudden entrance. He still wasn't 100% comfortable in her presence; she always seemed to have something brewing just under the surface that he could never put his finger on. "I was just admiring them, Jenny. Flowers are a hobby of mine."

"Really; so then you know how rare and expensive they are?"

"Oh, yeah."

"And their name?"

_Was she kidding with this?_ "Of course. Um, well, judging by their color and of course the green things they're attached to…" Tony stalled for time. He'd been told to report to her office immediately, forced to wait there alone for nearly 15 minutes, and now she wanted to talk about _flowers_! His mind raced through the possible reasons for his requested presence as his mouth kept up with the small talk on auto pilot.

"How would you rate your recent performance as team leader?"

Ah, finally to the crux of the matter; time to update his resume. Tony knew he was no Gibbs- hadn't even tried to kid himself- but he hadn't done that badly… had he? Granted, Lee was the only one who had treated him like an actual team leader; McGeek and Ziva had questioned nearly every order he'd given. And then Gibbs had reappeared; DiNozzo suppressed a slight shudder at the memory of finding his personal items in an undignified heap on his old desk. Tony couldn't deny he was glad the older man had returned, but part of him was still angry as all hell about the way the bastard had come back. "I'd say it was a solid "B"… minus. I'm being fired, aren't I?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes." Jenny couldn't help but frown at his low self-assessment. She knew first hand that Gibbs had nearly unattainable standards for his agents, and that in turn often translated to high standards of their own, but she'd never expected Tony of all people to lack that much confidence in his abilities. She'd looked deep enough to know that DiNozzo's goofball attitude was simply a way of keeping the stress levels manageable and that he hadn't exactly had the ideal childhood but he had to have at least an inkling that he was one of the best agents in the agency. Deciding that was a conversation for another time, Sheppard pulled the plain white envelope from her desk drawer.

"If this has to do with Gibbs coming back, I have no problem working for him," DiNozzo hastened to reassure her.

"These orders are for you."

Jenny hid a slight smile as Tony eyed the envelope cautiously for a moment before carefully unsealing it. She hoped he would consider this the reward that it was meant to be; as much as she wanted to keep him around for her own selfish reasons, he deserved this.

"NCIS Rota, Spain?"

Tony's mouth formed the words, even as his brain struggled to comprehend what they meant. They were promoting him. Did he deserve to be promoted- better yet, did he want to be promoted? The last one hadn't exactly worked out so well for him.

"Your own team. Congratulations!"

He gulped, his head spinning with a hundred different questions. He knew Jenny was waiting for an answer, so he did the only thing he could do- he stalled. "Wow, uh… I don't know what to say."

"Your performance these last four months has been exemplary. You've earned it."

"What about La Grenouille? That took months getting in."

Sheppard raised an eyebrow, "you're not getting too involved, are you?"

Tony suppressed the snort that threatened. Too involved, hell no, unless of course you counted falling head over heels in love with the target's daughter. "Only in the mission. If we put another agent undercover, La Grenouille will smell it."

"So you're passing on a promotion that any other agent in this building would kill for all because you're worried about some long-shot mission? I don't think so."

"Okay. I'm worried about Jethro." If the first excuse doesn't work, try, try again.

The other eyebrow climbed to the middle of the Director's forehead, "Jethro's fine."

"Then how do you explain that thing on his upper lip? He looks like Wilford Brimley, Junior." Tony allowed a small, self-satisfied smirk; he'd have to remember that one.

"So you're turning down a promotion because of a moustache?" Jen sighed, this was getting ridiculous, she obviously wasn't going to get a straight answer from him today.

"His memory is still screwed up. He called Ziva "Kate" yesterday. I just want to make sure he's a hundred percent before I leave."

"I see. And how long might that process take?"

DiNozzo clung to that faint ray of hope that she would allow him the time he needed to sort this out. "I don't know. Maybe … a few months?"

"How does seventy-two hours sound?"

He winced, "very fast."

"It wasn't a question. I need an answer by the end of the week. Tony, if you pass this up, another opportunity like this might not come up for years." Jenny couldn't understand it, especially considering the way he'd been treated by Jethro and the rest of his team lately, any other agent would kill for this assignment.

"Can we keep this like the Grenouille mission… just between the two of us?"

"If you wish."

"Thank you."

****_In case you didn't notice, the dialog was straight from the show. Thanks writers!****_

Tony slumped back against the door he'd just closed behind himself and released the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. His first and strongest instinct had been to stay here- with his family- but he had to wonder if they were even that anymore. Abby had kept a shrine to Gibbs since he'd left, Ziva had run straight to the former team leader at the first sign of trouble, and McGee couldn't have been more insistent about reminding him that no one had really thought he could lead the team long term. And they'd all being overjoyed when Gibbs had returned to save them from his apparent bumbling. And Gibbs, hell, he didn't even want to open that can of worms; almost five years of busting his ass for the man and all he got was a 'you'll do'. Family wasn't supposed to do that. Okay, so his blood relations had done that, but Tony knew enough to understand that _real_ family was supposed to support you.

"Agent DiNozzo, are you okay?"

Tony's eyes snapped open; Cynthia was watching him with concern from her desk nearby. How could he have been that stupid to let his guard down so completely. He flashed he a quick thousand watt smile, "of course, just breathing a sigh of relief that I'm not in trouble."

The Director's assistant nodded but continued to watch him with a wary eye as he headed down the stair case to the busy bullpen below.

***NCIS***

Tony dropped his head to his desk, followed shortly by Ziva finally losing her battle with the Sandman. McGee had been snoring softly for the last twenty minutes, a small line of drool slowly making its way down his cheek. Hell, even Gibbs had dark circles under his eyes tonight, and for some reason finding Lt Sullivan in the nick of time hadn't brought the lift that it should have.

Jethro glanced at his watch, counting the minutes until his team was off. It wasn't like he had a lot to go home to, but the team had worked hard on this case and it'd been a rough couple of months for everyone. He had absolute faith in DiNozzo's ability to lead the team- Jen hadn't needed to point it out, but change like that was hard even if you were the best at what you did. Gibbs didn't even try to kid himself, he knew that he was mostly at fault, but apologizing was a sign of weakness so it was best for everyone to just move on as if nothing had happened. Out of sight, out of mind.

Yeah right.

He'd hurt them, and he knew it. Ziva and McGee were fine, in reality very little had changed for them and neither was all that emotionally invested in the team. Abby had been devastated, but fairly easily consoled with daily phone calls and by his return. Based on his comments earlier in the course of the case Ducky was still well and truly pissed at him; the only question was why. With Tony, the why was easy, it was the 'could he ever make it better' that had him stumped.

Brilliant blue eyes wandered across the room to land on the slumped shoulders of his senior field agent; he'd found himself watching the younger man much more often since his return. Tony seemed older somehow. He'd only been back a short while, but he had yet to see a true DiNozzo smile- the one that used to light up the bullpen and crime scenes on a daily basis, the one that actually reached his eyes. There were no two ways about it, Tony was exhausted. Not in the 'stayed up too late last night' way, but more in the 'worked 24-7 for longer than I can remember' way. Even half asleep, the tension still radiated from his body.

DiNozzo's head popped back up as he suddenly realized that nearly forty-eight hours had passed since he'd spoken to the director; not that he'd exactly had a lot of time to think about her offer. Sure, there'd been a couple of moments when it came to the forefront; he'd nearly marched straight up to Jenny's office after his little "Probie" chat with McGee. Then Gibbs had to go and tell him that he hadn't done bad, confuse everything again; granted, coming from anyone else that comment would have been a slap in the face, but coming from Gibbs- it meant everything. And he hated that. Unfortunately, it still didn't change the fact that he was no closer to a decision.

"Tony?"

DiNozzo's head whipped around to his right to find Gibbs staring at him with an equal mixture of curiosity and concern. "It's nothing, Boss, just remembered something I have to do." One look at his boss and Tony knew that the older man didn't believe one word he'd said.

Gibbs opened his mouth to respond, still not quite sure what he was planning on saying, but was interrupted as his desk phone sprang to life- shattering the late afternoon silence in the bullpen. Jethro's answering growl was barely recognizable as his name, but he closed his eyes with a resigned sigh when he heard the voice on the other end of the line. He opened his eyes to glance at his team as he dropped the phone back into its cradle; the shrill ring had woken Tim and Ziva from their naps and all three team members were watching him with trepidation.

"Gear up; we've got a dead Ensign down at the Capital Marina."


	2. Chapter 2

"Ziva bag and tag, McGee shoot and sketch, DiNozzo go interview-"

"-The dock manager and the couple that found the body. On it, Boss."

McGee watched his teammate walk off with less than his usual bounce in his step. Tim really did feel bad about what he'd said to Tony the day before- not that he was ever going to admit it to the other man. Gibbs' comment still rang in his ears too; if the Boss didn't mind being called 'Probie', maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all. It wasn't like Tony used it as a sign of disrespect, in fact it usually seemed more like a term of endearment. He knew that the team was really the only family Tony had.

"McGee!"

Tim whipped his head around to be confronted by his boss's best _you-don't-even-want-to-know-how-pissed-I-am_ glare.

"What part of 'shoot and sketch' did you not understand?!"

"I- the- um, right away Boss."

Gibbs smirked; at least some things would never change. Jethro watch Tim and Ziva work for several minutes before he found his gaze being drawn over to where his senior field agent was working his magic- or rather, where he wasn't. It turned out that the dock manager was a very attractive woman in her mid-forties, the very definition of the word "Cougar". And apparently she had every intention of sinking her claws into DiNozzo, but for once in his life Tony was completely oblivious to the woman's flirtation.

Gibbs growled low in his throat, not knowing if he was growling at the woman for flirting with Tony, or growling at Tony for _not_ flirting with the woman. His thoughts were interrupted by the very noisy arrival of the ME and his assistant.

"Mr. Palmer, I _told_ you we should have made a Left turn onto Industry Lane."

Jimmy shook his head, "Doctor, I distinctly remembering you telling me to take a right at that light."

"Really, Mr. Palmer, it's a simple case of using the common sense God gave a fly. Turning right would have taken us away front the water front and the directs clearly stated that our destination was Capital _Marina_."

McGee and Ziva watched with amused smiles as the two made their way over to the body, bickering all the way. "Have they made it to a crime scene without getting lost in the last month?"

Ziva shook her head in the negative, "I do not believe so. How is it that Ducky does not have the entire city memorized; he has worked here for nearly two decades."

"I don't think Ducky's brain works like that Ziva. He's more of an abstract thinker."

Ziva's gaze turned toward her boss as Tim went back to immortalizing every square inch of the crime scene with his camera. At first she figured that he was deep in thought about the case, but it only took her a couple of seconds to realize that he was simply staring at Tony. The Mossad agent frowned as she took in her partner's stiff posture and stony continence; this was not her Tony. Ziva winced as the thought entered her mind; she was spending entirely too much time around Abby, Tony was not _hers_. But that didn't change the fact that this wasn't the Tony that she had grown to know and love as an annoying brother; she hated to admit it to herself, but she missed the old Tony. Now that she thought about it, it had been a very long time since Tony had made them all laugh. It used to be an hourly occurrence.

Apparently, he'd taken their complaints about his juvenile attitude to heart the second Gibbs had placed his badge and gun in Tony's hand.

They say you don't know what you've got until it's gone- apparently _they_were right. And Ziva knew she wasn't the only one that missed the old DiNozzo.

Tony flipped his notebook shut and thanked the Dock Manager for her time; he smirked internally at her disappointed look when he handed her Ziva's card. Contrary to Gibb's thoughts, he hadn't been oblivious to the women's flirting; he was simply so wrapped up with Jeanne that he had no desire to reciprocate. That brought on another smirk; if anyone had told him 6 months ago that he would ignore her advances, he would have laughed in their face.

DiNozzo walked back over to where his boss was taking in the scene with an analytical eye. "Well, she did it."

"Really?" Gibbs turned to his senior field agent, expecting to a broad grin and that twinkle of mischief in his green eyes. Unfortunately, he was met with the same stalwart features he'd been watching since he got back.

Tony gave him a small, half hearted smile, "No, but it'd be nice wouldn't it."

* * *

Sorry for the short chapter, big goings on at work the next couple weeks. Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming. This story isn't coming as easily as I had hoped and the reviews are good motivators. Hopefully the next chapter will be coming soon to a computer near you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews, some of the comments have been very helpful. I will do my best to update regularly, but I promise this story will get finished. PLease keep the reviews coming!**

****NCIS****

"Duck, you got a time of death for me yet?"

The M.E. looked up from where he had just inserted the liver probe, "patience Jethro. Now, from all outward appearances I would say this unfortunate young man was executed. Of course, I will reserve final judgment on the exact cause of death until after I have completed the autopsy." Dr. Mallard chuckled at the annoyed looked on Gibbs's face and glanced back down at his probe when it beeped. He did a quick calculation in his head frowning when Jimmy beat him to the punch.

"Approximate time of death would be 1500. Right Doctor?" He looked up expectantly at his mentor; DiNozzo wasn't the only on that craved approval from the man he admired most.

"Quite right, Mr. Palmer, thank you. Now if you'd kindly retrieve the gurney."

"You sure about that Ducky," Tony questioned curiously.

Ducky raised an eyebrow, "well my boy, it's not an exact science but I would wager that time of death was within five minutes of Mr. Palmer's estimate."

Tony turned to his boss with a slight glimmer in his eye, "Boss, I think we need to get some divers in the water."

"And why's that DiNozzo?" He could remember when that statement would have been made with twice the enthusiasm.

Tim and Ziva joined the conversation at that point.

"Boss the Hickman's told me they called the couple they were going sailing with as soon as they parked their car; the call was made at 1459. They told me they walked straight here from the parking lot. Our killer may not have had time to get away with the weapon which means he or she may have ditched it in the water before they ran into the Hickman's."

"Then why wouldn't they have heard the gun shot?"

Tony shot the junior agent a patronizing look, "ever hear of a silencer Probie? Anybody with half a brain knows that you use a silencer if you're going to commit a murder in a public place in broad daylight."

"And what makes you think this was planned?"

"Call it a gut feeling."

Ziva rolled her eyes, "there he goes again, channeling Gibbs."

Jethro shot a glare and a low growl in her direction; he'd had enough of her and McGee's mumbled comments. He couldn't help but want to support Tony; that and the idea didn't sound nearly as far fetched as Tim and Ziva were making it out to be. Besides, he'd come to rely on Tony's gut nearly as much as his own- and some day he might actually tell him that. "Good work DiNozzo. Make it happen."

Tony beamed a full wattage smile at him, "On it Boss." He couldn't help but gloat silently as he flipped opened his cell. It still irked him to no end that three simple words from Gibbs could make his entire day; he wasn't sure if that was a point in favor of staying or leaving.

"DiNozzo, McGee, stay with the divers, see what they find. Ziva, you're with me." Gibbs turned and walked back toward the car without another word.

Tim and Tony shared a sour look before dropping down onto a convenient bench to wait for the divers. It was going to be a long night.

Tony pulled his suit coat tighter around his shoulders to ward off the autumn night chill as he pulled his _other _cell phone from his pocket. Jeanne was not going to be happy that he was canceling another date; an online university professor really shouldn't have this many last minute emergencies. He stood and walked bit further down the dock as he dialed the number from memory.

"_Velvet Petals, how can I help you?"_

Jenny owed him another thirty dollars. "Yeah hi, I need a dozen roses, various colors, delivered to University Hospital."

He finished that conversation, aware that McGee's eyes were glued to his back, and hit the #2 speed dial. His voicemail was #1. "Hi Honey," he let the resignation seep into his voice. "I'm sorry Baby, some big problem with the server. They lost my syllabus and all the assignments; I have to recreate everything from scratch this weekend." Tony flinched visibly at his 'girlfriend's' response. "I know it was supposed to be a big night honey, but there's nothing I can do. I'll call you Monday?" He winced again as the other end of the line was disconnected abruptly. Yup, she was pissed; might take more than roses to get back into her good graces this time.

"Didn't go well, huh?"

DiNozzo raised a sarcastic eyebrow, "Ya think Pro- McGee."

Tim turned stoic at the almost use of his nickname. He really did appreciate that Tony was trying to conform to his request, but all of a sudden it seemed like there were thousands of miles between them. Just because Tony wasn't calling him Probie anymore. Sure, they'd never been best friends, but they'd hung out together occasionally and he'd always known that if he really, seriously needed someone to talk to, the older man would be there for him. And suddenly he realized, as often as Tony had been there for him, he'd never offered a shoulder for Tony to lean on. The senior agent had been through A LOT since Tim had joined the team, and as far as he knew, Tony didn't have anyone in his life to be that shoulder except for maybe Abby and Ducky.

"Look Tony, about you calling me Probie-"

But DiNozzo held up a hand, "save it McGee, I'm not in the mood. I'll do my best to call you by your name but that's the most I can promise."

Tim ducked his head at the acidic tone. "Tony, I-" a rather frightening glare stopped him in his tracks, DiNozzo was getting really good at those, almost as good as Gibbs.

They fell into an uncomfortable silence as the divers arrived and began searching the shallow water. Darkness had long since fallen when one of the divers surfaced with a shiny object held securely in his hand.

Tony was dialing before the diver even made it onto the dock, "looks like we got ourselves a murder weapon Boss."


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry again for the length of the chapter, but at least I managed to get something put up. Again thanks for the reviews and please keep this coming- I'll write as quick as I can.**

"Ah, there you are my little friend. Yes, just as I suspected Jethro, our young friend here had his left temporal lobe shredded rather spectacularly by this little 9mm bullet." Ducky turned and released the forceps, dropping the slug into a petri dish held by Palmer. "Jimmy my boy, kindly take that down to Abigail for analysis please."

Gibbs wasn't impressed, "that the cause of death?"

"Most definitely." The ME pursed his lips, not really appreciating Gibbs's frustrated tone, but also knowing it wasn't directed at him- this time. While the "new" Gibbs was surprisingly laid back in many ways, he had even less patience for Ducky's stories and theories. Well, two could play at that game; if Jethro wanted his opinion on why this young man was executed by someone he knew who had obviously killed at least once before, then he could damn well ask.

Gibbs raised an eyebrow as the older man turned his back and began the task of preparing the Ensign for his return to the drawer. He'd just been dismissed, rather effectively. In all honesty, he was used to being the one doing the dismissing but it was _extremely _rare for him to be on this end of the exchange; he didn't like it.

"Ducky?" he tried almost tentatively. He was on unfamiliar ground here, but he'd learned early on in their friendship that you didn't push the doctor when he was in this type of mood.

Ducky didn't stop his work, "something you needed?

Gibbs stood there for nearly 30 seconds with his mouth hanging open; he'd never heard that tone from Ducky before, and the ME had given him some rather impressive tongue lashings in the past.

"I guess not."

Ducky sighed, he was tired of being angry with the other man; it simply wasn't in his nature to hold a grudge but he simply wasn't able to forgive Gibbs until he'd realized and tried to make amends for what he'd done. "I don't suppose you've by wise enough to speak to him yet?"

As much as Ducky was hurt that Jethro had left without a goodbye or backwards glance- twice, he was much more angry about what he'd done to Tony. The former cop looked up to Gibbs not only as a mentor, but also a big brother. And Jethro had shattered that, doing exactly what Tony's family had done his entire life- worse yet, he knew and hadn't done a thing to fix it.

Gibbs's lips drew down into a thin frown; someone had finally called him on it. His first instinct was to get defensive, but for once in his life, his brain over-powered his gut. He sighed as he felt all his energy drain away, he was tired of pretending everything was fine, that nothing had changed.

"I'll- after this case is solved."

He turned and walked out of Autopsy, desperately need to focus on something other than how much he'd screwed up in the last 5 months.

Ducky closed his eyes in resignation. "That may not be soon enough, Jethro."


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the support and reviews; _please _keep them coming. The real action starts next chapter, I promise.**

"Update."

His three agents jumped to their feet ready to report despite the fact that it was 0800 on a Saturday morning and not one of them had gotten more than four hours of sleep. Tim was the first to speak. "Boss, I've been going through Ensign Wilks's financial records. There's no regular patterns to them, but he's been making decently sized deposits on a fairly consistent basis for the last 18 months, definatly not consistant with a governmentpay check; the last 2 were a good bit larger than the previous ones."

"You think someone found out he was skimming from whatever he was selling?"

Gibb's gave Tony's idea serious thought, "then find out what he was selling. And where are we on the gun."

Ziva opened her mouth to respond but DiNozzo beat her to the punch. "Serial number was filed off Boss, but Abby's working on bringing it out for us." He winced at the 'and…' look Gibbs shot him, "and… I'm going to go see what she came up with." Tony quickly headed for the stairwell before Gibbs could yell at him again.

He was surprised at the sound levels emitting from the lab- meaning that it was actually at a decibel that was not likely to damage one's hearing. "Hey Abs."

"Tony!" Abby shouted, bouncing across the lab toward him, ready for her morning hug. But she stopped three feet away instead. "You need sleep," she stated matter of factly, "you look horrible."

"Gee, thanks Abs, just what every guy wants to hear." He gave her a sardonic smile, "Did you manage to get the serial number off that 9mm?"

Abby huffed, not ready to change the subject. "No Tony, I'm serious, you haven't been yourself lately. You've been… distracted."

"Everything's fine Abs; I'm okay, really."

"But- but," Abby stuttered, not ready to drop the subject until she got some form of real reassurance that her friend would start taking better care of himself, so she latched on to one thing that she knew was extremely important to him. "But, it could affect your work."

She was unprepared for the cold anger that invaded his beautiful eyes.

"Right, because that's the only reason anyone should care about me." He turned away from her, throwing his hands in the air. "God, you're just like Gibbs and the rest- don't give a damn about what's going on with me unless it affects my work."

It only took a single second for him to regret his rant; he dropped his head and his hands, slowly turning back to face the Goth. Tears were already falling from the liner rimmed eyes and her bottom lip began to tremble in earnest when their eyes met. Tony quickly pulled her into a tight embrace and rested his cheek on the top of her head. "Aw, Abs, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that at all." DiNozzo released a sigh of relief when her arms tightened around his waist in acceptance of his apology.

Her voice was small in the relative quiet of the lab, "how could you ever think that?"

"I don't Abs, I really don't; I know you love me for me. I just- it's been a really long couple of months."`

She snuggled in closer to his chest, reveling in the warmth and strength his embrace provided- just like Gibbs. She really did have the best men in her life, but right now one of them was hurting and it was her job to make him feel better. "You don't really believe that they only care about the work you can do, do you?"

"I really don't know what to think anymore." He paused, knowing that he really should tell Abby about Jenny's offer. She was his friend, his little sister; maybe she could help him figure out what to do. And, he trusted her not to tell the others until he was ready. "Abs, Jenny offered me my own team… in Spain."

Abby's headed snapped up, catching Tony smartly on the chin."You're not going to take it are you? I mean don't get me wrong, you totally deserve your own team; you did great while Gibbs was gone… but you can't leave me. Spain would be gorgeous, and you'd meet amazing people, but…"

Tony smiled, he really did love it when she rambled. It made him feel special- she only rambled about things she cared about. "Abs-"

"You'd be great with your own team. You could be all Gibbs-like, if you wanted to I mean, teach them all the rules… how many are there now- like fifty?" She paused to inhale.

"Abs-"

"But you can't leave, we'd miss you too much, and I know you'd miss us too. The team wouldn't be the same without you, Gibbs would be extra surly, Timmy and Ziva would be so bored- not to mention over-worked… and concussed. Ducky would have nobody to ramble on to, Gibbs never listens to him anymore-"

"ABBY!"

She finally focused on him, "what?" She smiled sheepishly, "oh right, sorry. You're not really going to leave us are you?"

"I don't know Abs, I really don't. But it won't matter if I don't get that serial number up to Gibbs ASAP."

She grinned at him but the worry remained in her eyes. She knew that the promotion was huge for Tony, another one this good may never come his way again, but she really didn't want him to leave. Abby knew it was selfish and honestly couldn't have cared less. "Well I won't have anything for at least 15 minutes; so you go lay down on my futon, and I will handle the Bossman if he decides to come looking for you."

Tony hesitated, yes he was exhausted, but they'd all been working the same hours and nobody upstairs was taking a break. As always, Abby seemed to read his mind, "they've been sleeping well at night, not up pacing the floor trying to decide where they'd be living next month.

She was right of course; the last case had ended well so no nightmares or guilt there to work through and their latest case wasn't exactly an emotional sore spot for any of them. He moved toward the futon without further argument knowing that he would probably be more effective after a 15 minute power nap; and Abby was more than capable of handling Gibbs if the man came looking for him. He turned just before reaching her inner office, "Abs-"

"I know Tony, just between us, cross my heart and hope to die." She gave him a classic Abby Scuito smile and a schooing motion, "now, go, sleep."

Fifteen minutes later, Ziva was staring at her phone after hanging up with the Norfolk's IG office and wondering how they could have suspected someone of a crime for nearly a year without undertaking an investigation. Wilks had been on the Investigator General's watch list for just over 10 months, suspected of distributing heroin to several of the sailors in his chain of command as well as supplying the base high school distributors. But apparently neither of those things warranted serious investigation.

"Well, I just learned a valuable lesson."

Gibbs didn't look up, "and what's that Officer David?"

"Never rely on the Investigator General to investigate anything." She quickly relayed the rest of her new found information just as Tony emerged from the stairwell.

"What'd I miss?"

"Wilks was suspected of selling heroin on base." Tim filled him in.

DiNozzo shrugged in a 'take makes sense' manner, "well, guess that answers what he was selling; and Abby may have gotten the name of our murderer. Our previously submerged 9mm belongs to a one Deacon Saunders."

McGee held up a hand, typing furiously with the other. "There is a sixty-four foot motorized yacht registered at the Marina; owned by a Deacon Saunders."

That got Gibbs's attention, "get me a warrant."

"On it Boss," Tony responded, already dialing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for sticking with me, sorry for the slow updates. Please keep the reviews coming, they really are helpful.**

McGee let out a low whistle as they approached the dock where The Profit II was berthed. The boat was the definition of the word yacht; it fairly reeked of wealth. "If that doesn't scream money, I don't know what does."

"Just don't forget how he probably made all the money, McGee," Gibbs responded as he, Ziva, and Tony pulled their service weapons.

Tim answered by drawing his own pistol, "right Boss."

Tony reached out and announced their presence, banging on the fiberglass hull of the yacht. "NCIS, we have a warrant to search the premises."

Silence met his proclamation.

Ziva turned to her partner, "nobody home?"

"Guess we'll find out," Tony replied as he followed Gibbs up the short gangplank.

The searched the large boat systematically from top to bottom without resistance- and without finding anything out of the ordinary. Other than being a bit of a slob, Deacon Sauders was apparently clean. Or his boat was at least. The team took one look at Gibbs's frown when they all gathered on the back deck, and immediately began searching again; the former Marine only got that look when his gut was telling him something was there.

Gibbs was rifling through the linen closet when DiNozzo raced past him like the hounds of hell themselves where on his heels. Jethro gaped as his senior agent ducked into the master bedroom without slowing down. "Tony," he hissed quietly as he followed the younger man into the room, his weapon held snugly in his hands once again, only to find the room empty.

DiNozzo popped up from behind the bed with a large grin gracing his features; one that actually reached his eyes. "Think we got our motive, Boss," he stated smugly as he held up a plastic wrapped parcel of tan powder. "And there's lots more where this came from."

"But- how," Gibbs sputtered. He'd searched this room personally, from top to bottom; there's no way he could have missed something of the quantity Tony was implying.

Tony's grin broadened, "No worries Boss, secret compartment under the bed. My Dad used to have a boat just like this when I was a kid; I used to stow away here so I could go sailing with him."

Gibbs smirked, "what'd he say when you showed up in the middle of the trip."

"Nothing," DiNozzo ducked his head, "I pretty much stayed out of the way anytime he was sober enough to realize I was there."

The silence stretched on as Jethro's anger grew; how could a father not want to have his son with him on such a trip. And worse yet, how could the man have not even realized his son was there? Gibbs had re-read Tony's file shortly after deciding to return for good- he'd had to re-read all their files; it was plain from what he read that Tony hadn't grown up in the most loving home, but his agent's comment hinted at something deeper. And somehow he knew this wasn't the first time he'd found out about it. Gibbs wrestled with his conscience- he knew this wasn't the time to get into it, but something told him that Tony may never open up about it again. He was saved from having to make an actual decision when Tim and Ziva attempted to burst into the room at the same time. The two senior agents shook their heads, Tony in amusement and Gibbs in a mixture of frustration and relief, as the other two attempted to un-jam themselves from the doorway.

Ziva straightened her jacket after finally detangling herself from McGee, "that is a lot of Heroin."

"And there's probably more," Tony supplied. "The other two bedrooms have similar compartments. Boss, that's an awful lot of product to be taking out of here without someone seeing."

McGee snapped his fingers, "Tony's got a point, Boss. There are cameras all over the Marina; somebody must be getting paid to look the other way."

"Right, McGee go stake out the dock- Saunders may still make an appearance. Tony, shoot and sketch, Ziva bag and tag. I'm going to go have a chat with the resident Cougar."

Tony choked.

Ziva and McGee stared at their boss in confusion.

Gibbs simply smirked back at them, allowing a genuine smile for his senior field agent. He wasn't surprised that the younger man was the only one to catch the reference.

They each went about their assigned task without another word, going through the practiced motions with ease. Tony cursed as the camera chirped, informing him that the memory card was full. Flipping through the saved pictures he realized that the crime scene pictures from the dock were still on the card; Ziva was supposed to have downloaded the pictures and erased them already. Maybe she just hadn't erased them yet, but better safe than sorry. "Hey Ziva, you downloaded these dock photos already, right?"

The Mossad officer looked up from where she was inventorying the packages of heroin. "No, I did not get a chance."

"What do you mean you didn't have a chance," Tony fumed, "What the hell were you doing for the three hours McGee and I spent waiting for the divers?"

In truth, she'd gone home to bed and she refused to feel bad about that; it wasn't her fault Gibbs had made the other two stay at the dock. "That, Tony, is none of your business."

Tony tried to keep his voice low, "the hell it isn't when it affects how I do my job. Did you at least pack a spare card?"

"No, why would I?"

"Damn it Ziva! Always be prepared! You know that rule; hell you've probably had it drilled into your skull since before you could walk!" Tony was done being nice. "I have a spare card in my pack back at the truck; go get it."

Ziva gave him a challenging stare, just like she had every time he'd issued an order as team leader. "Why should I, you are not team leader anymore."

Anger flared in DiNozzo's eyes as he stepped into her personal space, forcing her to back into the wall of the bedroom. "No, I'm not team leader anymore, but I am still _Senior Field Agent_ which means that I still out rank you. And you will go get the fucking card because this was _your_ screw up!"

Ziva was never one to back down, but she'd only ever seen Tony that angry a couple of other times; she couldn't believe something as simple as a memory card had been enough to bring him to this state. She nodded silently and ducked around him in an effort to escape the room as quickly as possible. But her indignation began to grow as soon as she hit the back deck of the yacht; how dare he order her around like that- he wasn't Gibbs. Yes he technically out ranked her, but so what.

She grabbed Tim's arm as she walked past, "come with me, I need to release."

Tim dragged his feet, "I think you mean vent, Ziva"

"Yes, vent, whatever- Tony is making me_ crazy!" _She complained, pulling McGee along behind her.

"But Gibbs said I should stay-" he shut up when Ziva sent a sharp glare in his direction. "Right, you were saying" he asked falling in step beside her.

Neither of them noticed the four very large men turn down the dock toward the yacht they had just left.

Back on the boat, Tony was methodically going through the crawl spaces in the other two bed rooms, still pissed at Ziva's apparent lack of respect for him, his position, and the job they were paid to do. That was the last straw, he was done, 'Spain, here I come' he whispered to himself. He could visit Abby and Ducky, they would understand. Gibbs might be pissed, but he'd get over it. Tony doubted McGee and Ziva would even miss him.

He slowly started getting to his feet as he heard someone enter the room, he was determined not to let Ziva ruin his day. "That was fast- oh shit."

Last time he checked, Ziva was a 6'4", very well built man. Of course, she did hold her gun fairly similar to the way the man in front of him was. Tony made a split second decision and dove for the door; Gibbs would kill him for taking this guy on alone when back up was so close. Unfortunately, his escape was stopped by another wall of solid muscle, thankfully this one didn't have a gun in his hand.

He did have one hell of a right hook, Tony decided as he crashed into the wall. He defended himself the best he could against the obviously well trained martial artist, but the blows continued to rain down.

_This shit only happens in the movies!_ Was his last coherent thought before the darkness closed in on him.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey all, I really am sorry about the long wait and the short chapter. The next one will be up in a day or two. As always, thanks so much for the great reviews and please keep them coming.

****NCIS****

Gibbs's purposeful stride carried him back across the marina to when the Profit II was docked. Tony's original statement was more true than he'd realized at the time; the Cougar may not have done it, but she was certainly in on it. She'd played it off well, citing the poor economy for not having enough money to buy the tapes she needed or pay someone to keep an eye on them. But it was entirely too convenient that the lapses in tape just happen to occur where Ensign Wilks had been murdered and the entire route from where the Profit II was berthed to the parking lot. He'd have to have McGee check out her finances as well.

Now that this case was nearly solved, Jethro realized that he'd have to keep his promise to Ducky and actually talk to Tony. Easier said than done. He'd never been demonstrous with his praise; even Shannon and Kelly- both of whom he'd loved more than life itself, had needed to practically beg for an appreciative word. It was not a character trait that he was proud of and he hated it that it had taken him this long to realize it.

What in the hell was he going to say to DiNozzo? When you'd told someone to grow up more times than you could count, how did you let them know you wished they'd bring back _some_ of the immaturity- or at least be happy again. He could say that although Tony's work hadn't changed, his new attitude was having negative consequences on the rest of the team's work. But that was a cop-out; true but a cop-out none the less. He wanted the old Tony back because it made _him_ happy to see the younger man actually enjoying life.

He continued to ponder those questions as his footsteps thunked dully on the planks of the dock; part of him had to admire the workmanship. So engrossed in his thoughts, Gibbs didn't realize he'd missed the turn towards their crime scene until he reached the end of the dock. Sighing in frustration and turn back the way he'd came, running head long into Ziva and Tim.

Both agents stopped dead in their tracks, knowing they were screwed.

"McGee, you were supposed to be watching the boat; and where the hell is DiNozzo."

Tim flinched, "Ah- Tony's still on the boat, Boss. I was- well, Ziva wanted-"

"It is my fault Gibbs. I made McGee go back to the car with me." Ziva hesitated, not sure whether to continue, and extremely confused as to why Gibbs looked so pissed.

Jethro stalked up to the Israeli, stopping barely three inches from her face. "Damn it David, rule #11, _you never leave your partner alone!_ I don't care if you're in a war zone or if you're going to the bathroom."

His gut hadn't been much in evidence since his return from Mexico, but it was suddenly screaming at him that something was wrong, that Tony was in serious trouble. He turned and practically sprinted down the dock, sliding to a stop in front of D12.

McGee and Ziva were right behind him and soon joined Gibbs in staring at the open water where the Profit II had once been berthed.

****NCIS****

Tony groaned himself to awareness. It took his sluggish brain several minutes to realize the thrumming throughout his entire body was only partially from his recent beating and that rolling sensation in his stomach wasn't just from the nausea: the yacht was moving. Gee and he thought he was screwed when he was getting beaten senseless by the missing link. His dark and very confined quarters suggested that they'd shoved him into the crawl space for the duration of their journey- however long that was going to be.

Logically he knew that taking the job in Spain as soon as Jenny had offered it wouldn't have gotten him out of this predicament, but it wasn't exactly the first time he'd lied to himself. He wanted nothing more than to let himself drift off to blissfully pain-free unconsciousness again, but that wouldn't help the team find him. And the team was coming for him, there was never any doubt about that; no matter what they thought of him personally or how badly they treated him on a daily basis, they would come because Gibbs never left a man behind.

It was rather hard to pat himself down with his hands tied behind his back; but a good amount of wiggling, though producing a fair amount of pain, also yielded a cell phone shaped lump in his right pocket. Were these people seriously _that_ stupid that they wouldn't have searched a Federal Agent for a cell phone- hell, even twelve year olds keep their cell phone on them twentyfour-seven now days. There was no way he could get at it in this confined space, but maybe just having the damn thing on would allow Abby and McGee to trace his location. He'd seen them pull off much bigger miricles than that over the last four and a half years.

The best thing he could do for himself now was lay low; if they had wanted him dead, he would already be dead. Out of sight and out of mind, just like it had always been with his father.


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, quick word before we get to the chapter: did anyone see the previews for next week's episode? I can't wait to see Cowboy!Tony. On to the main event; no rescue yet, but it is coming, I promise. Thanks again for the reviews, love some of the ideas presented.**

****NCIS****

Hell of a way for his gut to announce its return.

He continued to stare at the gently lapping waves as he tried to compose himself. He could kill Tim and Ziva later, right now he needed them to help him find Tony. Gibbs turned back to face the two soon-to-be former NCIS agents, a smoldering fire warring with the ice blue of his eyes; to say he was pissed would be the understatement of the century.

"Ziva," he ground out, "call the Coast Guard, or whoever the hell you need to, to get me a _God Damn_ boat to go after them. McGee, you tell me how to track them, NOW!" He stepped even closer to the other two, his voice almost impossibly low. "And you two better be counting your lucky stars that I need your help to find Tony right now; but rest assured, we will finish this as soon as we get Tony back home safe."

Tim and Ziva immediately whipped out their cell phones to comply with Gibbs's orders. Two minutes later they both had answers for him.

"Boss, Abby's checking to see if they have low-jack on the boat. She checked Saunders's and Tony's cell phones; she can't get an exact fix since they're out on the water, but she can tell that they headed south." The words tumbled from McGee's mouth, hurriedly trying to make even the slightest amends for his mistake.

Ziva followed quickly on his heels, "the Coast Guard is sending a helicopter to pick us up, we will meet with a cruiser that is 10 miles east of here. They are already moving south."

"ETA?"

"Twelve minutes."

Gibbs growled, that wasn't nearly fast enough, but he knew it was the best they could do. He really couldn't lose Tony right now- hell, he couldn't lose Tony ever, but especially right now. He needed his second in command's intuition and insights to cover the fact that his own weren't quite up to par yet. Plus he just liked having the younger man around; Tony kept life interesting, made the day worth coming into work for- simply solving the crimes just didn't seem to do it for him anymore.

Ziva paced the dock unable to contain her nervous energy as they waited for the chopper to arrive. This was her fault; Gibbs was right, you _never_ leave your partner alone, especially at a crime scene. And the sad thing was that she knew exactly why she'd done it, she was jealous of his position on the team. Before coming to NCIS, she hadn't been the boss, but she'd always had the option of calling some of the shots; here she didn't have that, Tony did and she was jealous. She was envious of the close and easy relationships he had with Gibbs, Abby, McGee- hell everyone in the building liked him on some level, even the baggy-bunnies as much as they complained about him.

She had let her emotions overpower her training and now Tony was paying the price. She could only hope that he'd be around for her to apologize to; he deserved at least that much from her.

McGee had to make a grab for his hat as the helicopter flew overhead on its way to the open area of the parking lot. "Boss, the chopper's here."

Gibbs turned a scathing look in his direction, "No shit Sherlock."

Tim flinched, as soon as the obvious statement had departed his lips, he'd expected the annoyed but still slightly amused 'Ya think McGee'; but Gibbs's comment had been as harsh as anything the former Marine had ever said to him. He knew Gibbs was worried about Tony, but there was a desperation lurking beneath the surface that Tim hadn't seen any of the other times Tony had been missing.

They boarded the helicopter in silence; in fact, not a word was spoken until after they had landed on the deck of the Coast Guard cruiser.

****NCIS****

"Ducky!"

The elderly ME suddenly found himself with an armful of very upset forensic scientist. "Abigail, my dear girl, what's wrong?"

It took a minute but Abby finally lifted her head. She nervously swiped at the tear and mascara stain she'd left on his pristine white coat, "The bad guys have Tony, _again!_ Why does it always have to be him? I mean, not that I want it to be any of them; as much as I love Timmy, he'd never survive half the stuff Tony has." She paused long enough to bury her face back in his shoulder before she continued her mumbled rant. "He's always getting kidnapped, or hit on the head, or blown up, or poisoned… he can't be that lucky forever."

"I would hardly call that lucky, my dear girl," Ducky chuckled. Although, he did have to agree with her; the entire team had seen their share injuries, but Anthony did seem to take the lion's share.

"But he's always survived; I'd say that's damn lucky."

"And I'm sure his luck will continue. Jethro will never allow Anthony to be lost; he needs him too much."

Abby sniffed, "just wish Boss-man would tell him that before it's too late."

"Too late?"

Abby's hand flew to her mouth, knowing that she'd said too much. She wanted to tell someone else, have a partner in her scheming to keep Tony with them, but she simply couldn't betray her best friend's trust like that. "Oh Ducky, I can't, I promised Tony.

The ME nodded sagely, "I understand completely my dear. But rest assured, I have spoken to Jethro on the subject and he does intend to speak to our boy." He pulled the young Goth into a tight embrace, "have no fear my dear, Jethro will bring him home."

Abby gave him a half hearted smile. "That a question or a statement, Duck?"

"That, my dear, is a statement."


	9. Chapter 9

**I know I'm evil but I hope to update soon. As always, thanks for the support.**

****NCIS****

Voices slowly penetrated Tony's semi-conscious brain.

"You want us to get rid of him now, Boss?"

"And exactly what good would that do us now, Harrison?"

The question was followed up by something that sounded suspiciously like a head-smack; perfect a BadGuy!Gibbs. But at least the man was showing some intelligence; not that Tony was partial or anything, but keeping him as a bargaining chip made a lot of sense. Apparently, Saunders thought so too.

"Get him out of there, let's find out who we're up against."

Tony winced as the bright light invaded his makeshift prison and sent a spike of pain through his abused skull. He grunted, another spike of agony jolting through the rest of his body as he was manhandled out of the crawl space by two rather beefy sets of hands. DiNozzo swayed dangerously as he was forced to stand on his own two feet in front of a man he could only assume was Deacon Saunders.

What was it they said about life imitating art? The scene Tony currently found himself in was a straight up cop-movie cliché; the distinguished forty-something boss, flanked by his sniveling weasel-faced right hand man, the beaten and bloodied cop surrounded by men who would have been fairly successful in the professional wrestling arena. Yup, straight off the big screen.

Saunders finally spoke up after raking a disdainful eye over Tony's disheveled appearance. "So, Agent DiNozzo, how did our humble little business venture manage to land itself on the Naval Criminal Investigative Service's radar?"

"Well, it's fairly standard procedure for us to get involved when a Naval officer is murdered." He gave a self-satisfied smirk, "of course, we wouldn't have found you nearly this fast if you hadn't used a gun registered in your name and then ditched it in the water right next to his body."

Tony sank to his knees, barely able to breath, as 'the Link's' fist was embedded into his right kidney.

Saunders was beyond pissed, but surprisingly enough, his anger wasn't directed at DiNozzo. "You used _my_ gun?!"

His second in command sputtered, "he was stealing from you, and he said he was going to go to the cops if we didn't up his take. What was I supposed to do?"

Saunders let loose a nasty upper cut that sent weasel-face flying back into the door frame; apparently the missing links weren't the only ones that knew how to take care of themselves in this operation. He took a minute to compose himself before turning back to face his captive; anger had its place but right now he needed a level head.

"Boss, we had to have passed into Virginia waters by now, they have no jurisdiction anymore."

Tony snickered from his place on the floor; apparently the man was the missing link in both brains and brawn. "What part of _Federal Agency_ do you not understand?" His breath caught in his chest as the big man showed him exactly how much he enjoyed being called stupid. With his hands still secured behind his back, DiNozzo could do nothing to protect himself except to curl into the smallest possible ball to absorb the blows.

"Boss! We've got a problem!"

On the other end of a pair of binoculars, oblivious to the sea spray that was working it's way beneath his collar, Gibbs watched as pandemonium broke out on the Profit II. They'd been spotted, not exactly like they were trying to hide. The cruiser was still a good half mile behind the other boat, but thankfully gaining quickly. He just really hoped Saunders wouldn't do something stupid, like kill Tony.

Ziva and Tim stood next to their Boss trying to control their shivering, neither willing to move indoors while Tony was still in danger. Abby was frantic, calling McGee every five minutes for an update. He couldn't really blame her, but the calls were interfering with their rescue; he finally had to make it clear that he would call as soon as they got Tony back and then hung up on her. He would definitely be paying for that later.

Ziva squinted in the drenching spray; fear gripped her heart as a bright green shirt made an appearance among the black grab of the drug runners. She unconsciously squeezed Tim's arm as she watched the scene unfold.

Gibbs's knuckles turned white around the binoculars as he watched Tony being dragged onto the back deck of the yacht; his agent did not look good. DiNozzo barely had the strength to hold his head up let alone stay on his feet between the two men that currently held him. The scene seemed to play out in slow motion; he watched helplessly as Saunders pulled a handgun from his waistband and calmly shot Tony.

"NO!!" Three shouts simultaneously cut into the wind.

The sinking feeling in his gut told Jethro exactly what Saunders had planned. He was already pulling off his shoes and jacket even as Ziva and McGee watched Tony being tossed off the back of the Profit II.

"Send the chopper for us," he ordered just before jumping over the end of the cruiser, leaving two very stunned NCIS agents in his wake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hope this was a quick enough update for all of you that expressed that wish. Please continue the great support.**

****NCIS****

Tony couldn't help the involuntary gasp as the icy water closed over his head- talk about a wake up call. His brain may have only been functioning at fifty percent before the shooting, but he was running on pure survival instinct now. Instinct that had his legs kicking him back toward the surface, oblivious to the pain that spiked through his thigh, intensifying with every kick. He surfaced long enough to cough up most of the sea water he'd swallowed and inhale a single breath of fresh air before his leg rebelled, absolutely refusing to cooperate any longer. With his hands still tied securely behind his back and only one working leg, DiNozzo was helpless to stop his slow descent beneath the surface.

He felt a pair strong arms encircle his chest just as the black spots dancing in front of his eyes began to blend into unconsciousness.

Gibbs's heart froze in his chest for the fourth- or was it the fifth time that day. Seeing Tony sinking bonelessly away from the surface had brought back all those feelings of anguish that had accompanied Shannon and Kelly's deaths. He put that extra bit of umph into his stroke, determined to reach his senior field agent in time. As many times as he'd let Tony down, the younger man had yet to truly return the favor, and Gibbs's be damned if he was going to let DiNozzo down when it mattered this much.

"I've got you Tony, just relax now."

He couldn't breathe, his entire body hurt like hell and stars were still dancing across his vision; relax was not in his vocabulary right now.

Gibbs yanked his knife away from Tony's wrists as the younger man began to struggle in earnest. "Damn it DiNozzo, calm down!" When that didn't work he did the only thing he could think of that was sure to get his agent's attention; he risked releasing his hold on Tony's chest to smack the other man upside his head.

"Boss?"

"Yeah Tony, it's me, I've got you." Gibbs sighed in relief when DiNozzo finally quieted in his arms. "Now hold still, I'm trying to cut your hands free." Jethro made short work of Tony's bonds and gently maneuvered his agent around to check the sluggish blood flow from the hole in his leg. Saunders may well have done DiNozzo a favor by chucking him into the freezing cold ocean. Of course, it was only a favor if Tony survived the cold long enough to be rescued, _and_ managed not to catch pneumonia afterwards.

Tony was fading fast; the cold, blood loss and knocks to the head taking their toll. "Knew you'd come, Boss."

Gibbs winced at the absolute faith DiNozzo showed in him, knowing that he hadn't done much lately to deserve it. "Always Tony. Now stay with me, I need you conscious when that chopper gets here."

"On it, Boss," but the weakness in his voice contradicted his words.

Jethro tightened his hold on the injured man, trying to conserve what little body heat there was between them. As much as he didn't want to think about it, this may be the only chance he'd ever have to talk to DiNozzo. "Tony, you still with me?"

Silence.

"Damn it Tony, answer me!" Gibbs gave him a shake for good measure.

He was rewarded with a pain-filled groan. "Boss, _please_ don't do that again."

"Fine, I won't as long as you stay with me, and I'm not just talking about right now. I can't lose you, not to this, not to another team, never." Gibbs continued, not even sure Tony was still conscious. "I realize it's pretty selfish, but you're my senior field agent, my friend. I need you here."

Once again, silence was his only answer. Figures, he finally works up the courage to admit the depth of his feelings to himself _and_ to Tony, and the later is unconscious.

And where the hell was the chopper? Both boats were barely a speck on the horizon now, but specks that were very close together. He had every confidence that McGee, Ziva, and the Coast Guard couldn't easily take down Saunders and his men. And Saunders needed to be taken down; nobody used one of his people as a decoy. There was no doubt in Gibbs's mind that Saunders had shot Tony and tossed him in the water in hopes that they would give up the chase in favor of saving their agent. Too bad Gibbs was never all that good at conforming to the wishes of others.

Finally the blessed sound of the chopper rotors reached his ears. He waited impatiently as they lowered the rescue basket, growing more concerned by the minute at Tony's silence and stillness. The younger man was never still.

It wasn't exactly easy for Gibbs to maneuver the slightly taller man into the basket before climbing in himself. The jostling as the basket began to rise out of the water woke Tony from his unresponsive state. "Tony?"

Hooded green eyes met blue for the briefest of moments, "c-cold Boss."

"I know Tony, we'll get you warmed up in just a minute. You going to stay with me this time?" Gibbs took the opportunity to assess his agent's condition and tie off the wound on his leg.

DiNozzo hissed at the increased pressure on the gaping hole, "I'll do my best, Boss."

"Good."

The next minute they were level with the chopper and the divers were helping him get Tony settled onto a stretcher and wrapped in blankets. He sighed in relief when Tony began shivering again, knowing that his agent was starting the slow process of warming up. The recently acquired cuts and bruises stood out in stark relief against Tony's pale face and Gibbs knew that this ordeal was far from over for his agent.

"I need a cell phone," he demanded over the sound of the rotors. One was immediately placed in his hand. He dialed quickly and held the phone tightly to his ear, his other hand glued to Tony's chest. "Jenny, tell Abby to quit worrying, we got Tony back."

A relieved sigh came over the line, "that's great news Jethro, I'll be sure to let her and Ducky know. McGee just reported in, they've taken down Saunders and are headed back to the Marina with both boats. Which hospital are you taking Tony to?" Jenny paused, hesitation and deceit clear in her voice, "Abby and Ducky will want to know."

Gibbs turned to the closest diver, "where we headed?"

"University is the closest hospital with a heli-pad."

Dinozzo immediately began struggling against his cocoon of blankets, "no Boss, Bathesda, can't go to University."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs growled.

"Bathesda Boss."

Tony's grip was weak on his wrist, but his eyes held a steel resolve. Gibbs turned his attention back to the phone conversation. His snarl carried clearly through the surrounding noise, "Jen, you want to explain to me why my critically injured agent is refusing to go to the nearest hospital?"


	11. Chapter 11

Hey all, sorry about the long hiatus (no pun intended), came down with a nasty case of writer's block. This chapter is another super short one, but I wanted to let you know that I am still working on the story and will finish it. Thanks for the support.

****NCIS****

Hurricane Abby blew through the doors of the surgical waiting room of Bethesda Naval Hospital, shock and awe following in her wake. "Gibbs!"

Jethro turned, opening his arms just in time to catch the flying forensic scientist. Knowing what was coming, Gibbs shushed her with a kiss to the forehead. "Shh, Abby, Tony's going to be fine, I ordered him to be right before they took him in. I promise."

Abby sniffed back the tears and wiped at her eyes, smearing mascara half way down her cheek, "ok, if you promise." She buried her face in the scrub top he'd borrowed to replace his sopping wet and salt encrusted clothes. "Gibbs, how did this happen? Why is it always Tony?"

"I don't know, Abs, I really don't."

Gibbs didn't even try to detangle himself from Abby as Ducky, Ziva and McGee came through the waiting rooms doors at a much more sedate pace than the Goth; the latter two surreptitiously trying to keep the ME between them and Gibbs.

"Jethro?"

"He's still in surgery Duck; gunshot to the thigh and they beat him up pretty good. Before they went in, the surgeon said he was worried about internal bleeding." The last was said with a glare in Ziva's direction.

Dr. Mallard took in Jethro's worried but not frantic stance and his obvious anger with the other agents; that alone told him one very important thing, that while Tony might be badly injured, it wasn't life threatening. He'd gotten the story from McGee on the drive to the hospital, and while he agreed that the younger agents were partly at fault, it was his opinion that they already felt badly enough and were beating themselves up about it more than Gibbs ever could. "Jethro, a word please." He led the younger man several steps away, before crossing his arms and fixing Gibbs with a stoney glare. "Jethro, I believe it's time you said a few words to Ziva and Timothy."

Gibbs's eyes flashed to where his agents stood doing their best to comfort Abby. "Trust me Duck, I've got more than a _few_ words for them."

"Oh Jethro," ducky sighed; he hadn't exactly expected this conversation to go well. "They understand that they made a mistake; I really don't believe there is anything you could say to them that could make them feel worse."

"I'm not interested in making them feel worse about what they did, I just want them to learn from it. Duck, even _if_ I ignore the fact that their actions are the reason Tony is in that OR- which isn't likely to happen, they almost lost us a crime scene and the case, not to mention the hundreds of pounds of cocaine that would have been back onto the street. They have to learn there are consequences for things like that."

"Special Agent Gibbs?"

Gibbs was immediately in the doctor's personal space, "how's Tony?"

"He ah- he should make a full recovery," the surgeon unconsciously took a step back in the face of the other man's intensity. "The bullet chipped his femur, so he'll need to stay off that leg for awhile; there was also a small laceration to his kidney but we got the bleeding stopped quickly enough. Other than that there are several fractured ribs and some fairly severe bruising to his right shoulder that he'll need to watch out for." The explanation seemed to flow easier after small smiles of absolute relief spread across his audiences' faces, "I'd like to keep him for at least another 36 hours to watch that concussion and internal bleeding." Seeing the silver haired man in front of him open his mouth to ask a question, the doctor pre-empted him, "Agent DiNozzo is still in recovery, but he'll be moved to regular room in about half an hour, you can see him then."

The team nodded and slunk to the relative comfort of the arm chairs on the far side of the waiting room, their energy suddenly draining now that they knew for sure that Tony was no longer in danger. Each settled into their own thoughts to pass the 30 minutes until they could see Tony. Gibbs continued to ponder what his agent had been so adamant about not going to University Hospital, while Ziva and McGee wallowed in their guilt over leaving Tony. Abby's brain kept turning over her conversation with Tony from the previous day, she couldn't believe that he was actually considering leaving; and what if this was the final straw?


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey all, second to last chapter, sorry it's still taking so long. Thanks for the reviews.**

"You can see Agent DiNozzo now; we've gotten him settled into a regular room."

The team had risen to their feet as soon as the doctor approached, but hesitated before following the scrub-clad man down the hall- looking towards Gibbs for guidance. Jethro immediately waved them forward but stopped short himself as he saw Jenny exit the elevator. "You guys go ahead; I'll be along after I have a word with the Director."

Jenny swallowed thickly as Gibbs approached with a dark expression clouding his face. She quickly stiffened her posture; she was the Director of a federal agency after all, she wasn't about to be intimidated by one of her employees. Easier said than done when it came to Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Still she refused to feel badly about making use of Tony's God given talents. Jenny let out a small gasp of surprise and protest when Jethro grabbed her elbow and roughly dragged her back toward the elevator.

Gibbs punched the button for the lobby, nearly breaking his finger in the process. He pulled the emergency stop as soon as the car began to move; instantly, a blaring siren assaulted their ears.

Jenny gave him a smug smile, "I don't believe they approve of using the elevators as your own personal office around here, Jethro."

Gibbs growled low in his throat, obviously not the least bit bothered by the obnoxious noise. "You want to explain to me why my agent refused to go to the closest hospital- which just happened to be University Hospital- when he was bleeding all over the chopper floor?" It was clearly not a request.

Jenny swallowed again, might as well lead with the truth- or at least part of it. "Tony has been working a top secret under cover assignment at my request; it's need to know- and you don't need to, but I can tell you that one of his marks is a doctor at University."

Jethro's eyes glowed with rage, "you've been using one of _my_ agents for an off hours under cover assignment without telling me?"

"No I've been using one of _my_ agents for an under cover assignment." Jenny pursed her lips, determined to keep her composure, "one that he was more than willing to stay on even after you came back and kicked him to the curb."

"NO!" Gibbs allowed a small fission of satisfaction as Jenny physically flinched at his roar. "You don't get to turn this around on Tony or me. I know I fucked up! I know I have a lot to make up to him- to all of them. And Tony is too good of an Agent to not want to challenge himself for the agency. This is on you. How long, Jenny, how long has he been working twenty-four hours day, seven days a week? How long have you been putting Tony and everyone he works with at risk?"

"Almost four months."

Jethro shook his head, "you were just _waiting_ for me to leave weren't you."

Jenny knew she had lost this round, but there was no way she was giving up the battle all together. "Jethro, I won't ask Tony to give up this assignment, he's worked too hard and it's too important. The op will continue until it's over or until…" Jenny stopped realizing her slip a half second too late.

"Or until what Jen?"

"I've offered Tony his own team- in Rota, Spain. He earned it Jethro."

Gibbs's heart sank; how could Tony not take the position, it was a phenomenal opportunity. And it wasn't like the team had given him much of a reason to stay, especially after this fiasco. "When does he leave?"

"He hasn't said yes yet."

Gibbs knew he should be furious; hell, he _wanted_ to be angry, but he just didn't seem to have the energy. Learning that Tony's life was no longer in immediate danger, only to find out that he might still lose the man that had come to be one of the most important people in his life had sapped the remainder of his energy. Reaching over he popped the emergency stop switch back into place.

"This conversation isn't over, Jen," he finished with a quite reassurance.

He found his way to Tony's room just as Ziva, Tim, and Ducky were stepping out; he fixed his two field agent's with a venomous glare effectively pinning them to the wall while he spoke to the ME. "Ducky?"

The older man gave him a gentle smile, "he'll be fine Jethro. It'll take awhile to get him back on his feet- our short visit wore the dear boy out completely. He's fast asleep but Abigail is determined not to leave his side until he's released."

"Thanks Duck, have a good night." He patted Ducky on the shoulder before turning his attention to the other two. "Go back to the office, finish your reports and go home. I don't want you back at NCIS until Wednesday."

Both agents snapped their heads up, before quickly dropping their gaze in acknowledgement of their punishment.

Gibbs knew they felt bad; but it was like he'd told Ducky, he didn't care how they felt, he wanted them to learn from this. They all needed to learn from this. "It's a couple of days off, not a suspension. But I will be putting a formal reprimand in both your files, you can't do something like that without consequences. Both of you need to be damn grateful that those consequences didn't include Tony's death."

Tim nodded slightly, still afraid to make any movement. "We are Boss."

Gibbs dismissed them with a small wave of his hand, he had a feeling he'd made the impression he wanted to. Gently he opened the door, a small smile instantly gracing his face as he took in two of his favorite people cuddled on the hospital bed sleeping peacefully. Tony was still bruised and broken, but he actually looked at peace there with his good arm wrapped securely around Abby's shoulders. Jethro hadn't spoken to God in quite awhile, but as he slid warily into the semi-comfortable chair kindly provided by the hospital, he sent up a quick prayer that things would stay this way forever.

.


	13. Chapter 13

**So, sorry for the long abscence, but I'm back, finally. Anyway, I realize that I said this would be the last chapter, but I'm going to leave that up to all of you. I left a few things to the imagination, but if you tell me they need to be resolved, I'll do my best. Thanks for all the support.**

****NCIS****

Tony woke slowly, clinging desperately to that pain free haze that had enveloped him through most of the night. But another sensation was beckoning him back to the land of the living, that of a warm body snuggled closely into his less injured side. Tony knew without a doubt that the semi-sharp object poking into his shoulder was Abby's spiked dog collar; at least he knew that someone loved him. A soft chuckle had him turning his head away from Abby's warmth to find Gibbs giving him a warm smile.

"Wild horses couldn't have dragged her away."

Tony opened his mouth to ask how long he'd been unconscious, but all that came out was a quiet croak. Jethro instantly had a straw leading to some very refreshing ice water in front of Tony's face. A couple of sips later, Tony had found his voice, "Boss?" Nobody ever said he had to be eloquent immediately upon waking.

"Yeah Tony, I'm here." Gibbs laid a careful hand on his agent's blanket clad shoulder, "I'll always have your six." He took a shaky breath trying to ignore the surprise in Tony's eyes; if he didn't get this out now, he never would. "Look DiNozzo, I haven't really been fair to you lately- hell, I don't think I've ever been fair to you. You're a good agent Tony and a good man; I'm proud to have you on my team and… as a friend."

DiNozzo simply gaped at the silver haired man for the briefest second before his mouth caught up with his ears, "you know, I could have sworn being in pain meant that you were alive, but now I know I've died and gone to heaven." He braced for the expected head slap.

Instead, Gibbs gave him a rueful smile, "I deserved that. Tony, Jenny told me about the undercover op."

"Oh." DiNozzo was stunned; if Gibbs knew about the op, how the hell was he not dead yet?

"Tony, you were following orders. I- look, just be careful; something about this doesn't smell right."

Tony smirked, "you're telling me." The younger man yawned, his injuries and the pain medication catching up with him.

"Sleep Tony, we'll be right here."

DiNozzo nodded slightly, his eyes slipping half closed before they snapped back open in panic, "Tim? Ziva?"

"Their fine, DiNozzo; I sent them back to the office to finish their reports."

"Oh… night Boss."

Gibbs gently ruffled his hair, "hate to break it to you DiNozzo, but it's morning."

****NCIS****

McGee snuck through the hospital hallways, calling upon everything Tony had ever even half-jokingly taught him about staying hidden in the field. The hospital staff didn't exactly condone visiting of their patients at five am. He ducked into Tony's room just in time to avoid being seen by an orderly, and stopped dead in his tracks; he turned quickly, shoving his hand in the door so that it wouldn't slam shut and wake the three occupants of the room. He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood as sharp, shooting pain emanated from his trapped finger tips; staying silent, he gently extracted his hand from the door's sinister clutches.

Abby, Tony and Gibbs continued to slumber on, totally unaware of his plight. Or so he thought. Gibbs cracked an eye in his direction, his glare as effective as ever. Tim ducked his head; apparently he hadn't been as quiet as he'd thought. "Sorry Boss, I-"

Gibbs shook his head and pushed Tim back out in the hall.

"Boss, I- well I just wanted to check on Tony; he was still unconscious when I was here before. My report's done," McGee hastened to reassure his Boss.

Gibbs did his best to hide his amusement at Tim's child-like hope. He was still angry with the younger man, but Tim and Ziva hadn't done it out of malice and he had all the time in the world to teach them a lesson once Tony was back on his feet. "Why don't you sit with him while I grab a couple of coffees and a caf-pow." He didn't wait for an answer as he turned and headed for the elevators.

Tim quietly slipped back into his friend's room. Abby slept on, but the commotion must have woken Tony.

"Probie?"

"Ah, hey Tony. Gibbs went for coffee."

Tony raised an eyebrow as far as his bruised features would allow, "okay…"

McGee winced; yeah that was a no-brainer. "Right, so how you feeling?" He winced again, two for two, he was on a roll. "Never mind. So ah, we caught Saunders and his crew; ended up being four hundred pound of herion. Ah- good work on finding that by the way."

DiNozzo nodded, his eyes beginning to droop again. He knew McGee had come to say something of substance, but if the man didn't get around to it soon, he wasn't going to be awake to hear it. "The point, Probie."

"Hell Tony, I know that 'I'm sorry' doesn't even begin to cover it, but I really am. I just- I didn't think; Ziva was pissed- I was intimidated…"

"Huh?" Tony wasn't sure if it was the concussion or if Tim just wasn't making any sense.

And suddenly it occurred to McGee that Tony had no idea he'd been abandoned on the boat; Tim swallowed as he dropped heavily into the chair. He knew there was no point in lying to Tony, it would only make things worse later. "Tony, Ziva and I left the boat unguarded."

"You what?"

Tony's voice was like ice; until that moment, McGee had never realized that anyone could scare him more than Gibbs. His mouth opened and closed several times, trying to find the words that would never come."

"Well shit McGee; I knew you never respected me, but I never thought you actually wanted me _dead_."

Tim finally found his voice, "what?! Tony, how could you say that? I mean, damn it Tony, you taught me almost everything I know about being an agent. Sure, they were Gibbs's rules, but you're the one that took the time to actually teach me everything. How could I _not_ respect you?!"

It was Tony's turn to raise his eyebrows in shock, "really?"

"Hell yes."

"Oh."

Surprising, their entire exchange had been carried out in pianissimo; neither man wanting to wake the obviously exhausted Goth.

Tim rubbed a wary hand over his face. "Look Tony, believe it or not, I was never cool, never popular. I never learned how to 'tease'," he gave an apologetic shrug. "I- I know I can be mean sometimes, I don't mean it, I just don't know how else to respond."

They lapsed into silence, neither really knowing what to say next.

"So what, Tim, you want to start over?"

"No," McGee shook his head, "I think we both know we're past that point. But now you know that I like and respect you as an agent _and_ a person- and I'm hoping you feel the same about me. I think we can agree that we're on more equal footing now and go from there."

Tony forced his foggy brain to concentrate as he considered McGee's offer. They'd both done some nasty things to each other over the years, but he did like the younger man. And Tim was turning into a very good agent- apparently in part thanks to him.

First Gibbs, and now McGeek; theywere determined to make this difficult for him. It would take a lot for him to forgive them, _all_ of them, but something in his gut told him it just may well be worth the effort. Maybe he did have a family here after all.


End file.
